Easily Master Triggers: A Step-by-Step Guide to Emotional Healing and Growth - Episode 05
Oct 2, 2023
In this episode, I share a real-life experience fresh from the school of life! Just before hitting the record button, I encountered a parenting moment that triggered a rush of emotions. But instead of letting it overwhelm me, I decided to turn it into a valuable lesson on self-regulation, and I want to share that journey with you.
Building upon the steps I discussed in episode 4, I walk you through how I personally applied them to manage my own emotional turbulence. This episode not only offers a real-time demonstration of these steps but also provides a glimpse into how I coach clients dealing with their emotional triggers.
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Slowing down, taking deep breaths, and asking yourself four key questions are essential steps in managing emotions and triggers effectively. In a podcast episode, LaShonda emphasizes the importance of these practices when dealing with challenging situations.
In this episode you’ll learn four key questions to help you manage triggers.
What am I feeling? By identifying and labeling your emotions, you gain clarity on what is happening internally. LaShonda shares her personal experience of feeling anger, shame, embarrassment, and inadequacy when receiving an email from her child's teacher about missing assignments. By pinpointing these emotions, she was able to address the root causes of her reactions.
Where am I feeling it? Understanding where you feel emotions in your body can provide valuable insights into your physical responses to emotional stimuli. LaShonda mentions feeling her emotions in her chest and experiencing a racing heart, indicating a strong physiological reaction to the situation.
Why am I feeling it? Delving into the reasons behind your emotions helps uncover underlying beliefs, triggers, and past experiences that may be influencing your current reactions. LaShonda explores feeling inadequate and embarrassed as a parent due to societal expectations and personal history with academic performance.
What do I need? Identifying your needs allows you to address them constructively and seek appropriate support or solutions. LaShonda highlights the importance of cooperation and collaboration in her situation, recognizing the necessity of working together with her child and other stakeholders to resolve the issue effectively.
By following these steps and engaging in self-reflection, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of their emotions, triggers, and needs. This process enables them to respond thoughtfully and consciously to challenging situations, leading to emotional growth and improved self-awareness.
Emotions are like an iceberg, with the conscious thoughts being the tip and the unconscious beliefs and feelings lying beneath the surface. I demonstrate this using a personal story and I walk you through my emotional journey of anger, frustration, and embarrassment. These immediate emotions were the tip of the iceberg, representing the conscious reactions to the situation.
However, as I delved deeper into my emotions using the tools I provide my clients, I uncovered underlying feelings of inadequacy and disrespect. These deeper emotions were the submerged part of the iceberg, the unconscious beliefs and feelings that were triggered by an email. By identifying and addressing these deeper emotions, I was able to gain clarity and work through my initial reactions.
The importance of recognizing and addressing these deeper emotions is crucial in managing triggers effectively. Just like the iceberg, where the bulk of the mass lies beneath the surface, our unconscious beliefs and feelings can significantly impact our reactions and behaviors. By taking the time to explore and understand these deeper emotions, individuals can gain insight into their triggers and work towards resolving them.
In conclusion, the analogy of emotions being like an iceberg highlights the complexity of human emotions. It emphasizes the significance of not just reacting to the surface-level emotions but also delving deeper to uncover and address the underlying beliefs and feelings that drive our responses. By doing so, individuals can gain a better understanding of themselves, manage their triggers more effectively, and work towards emotional healing and growth.
In this episode:
[00:01:24] Managing Emotions and Triggers.
[00:04:25] Exploring complex emotions effectively.
[00:10:09] Identifying Personal Needs.
[00:13:33] Tools for self-reflection.
[00:15:19] The unconscious mind and emotions.
Quotes:
"Up underneath angry, I find disrespect. Ugh, that lands for me." - LaShonda Walker
"I need better participation." - LaShonda Walker
"I have done all I can do." - LaShonda Walker
"What is this? Right? Slow yourself down. Take deep breaths. Connect, reconnect to your body." - LaShonda Walker
Resources:
Human Systems Body Sensations Wheels